In the life of me.

April 26 (Thursday), 2007

Dear John Richard,

We obviously found out what you were just thirteen days ago. SInce then we’ve been given lots of things for you. Already you have clothes. There are a few dragons to protect you now too. Mommy put up the coloring book pages and Daddy put up the torch lights. It’s really looking cool in there.

Sometimes at night, just before Daddy reads to you, you kick my tummy. It’s almost like you know what time it is. Whoa! I just felt a ton of your flutter kicks just now. Perhaps I should stop using my tummy as a book rest…

Today is a special day. Your Pop-Pop passed away four years ago today. I still remember sitting on my dormitory floor when I got the news from his wife. It was hard losing him when I was 19, I still find it hard today.

This morning I woke up in tears. It felt good to let it all out. Your Pop-Pop felt the same way. He was never afraid to cry in front of others.

His laugh could get anyone to smile, or maybe it was that twinkle in his eyes when he did it. I’ll never forget the sound of it.

My Daddy’s hugs were the best. The sort that were so tight it was like a bear was hugging you. They were so full of love too.

I remember summer trips visiting him. Days when he’d come home from work we would snuggle together. Back then I only got to see him twice a year. Mommy lived in New Mexico and Pop-Pop in Pennsylvania. So those small moments we had, we held dear in our hearts.

I even remember when he took me to my first tattoo parlor. We went to get the cartledge of my left ear pierced. And he showed me the tattoo he wanted when he lost his weight. Daddy stood and watched as that needle plunged through my ear. I didn’t grimmace, having him there I knew I was ok. That smile he had afterwards was awesome. It was like a proud smile or a, “that’s so cool!” At least that’s how I remember as a 16 year old.

Today is a day of rememberance, not sorrow. KNow that he would love to hold you in his arms. Know that once you get older, he’d play pranks and tell you jokes (boy could he tell ‘em!). His heart was always full of love, his ears open to listen, and his shulders perfect for those tears. He was protective but still let me have freedom. Daddy always gave the best advice. Your middle name, Richard, was his middle name. It’s a strong name and I know you’ll carry it well.

I love you so much, my little John Richard!

Love Always,

Mommy